WHAT IS A DILDO?

Dildo is a sex toy that people use for penetration. Sometimes called a "strap-on", dildos are used by people of all sexual orientations.

A dildo is more than a penis substitute. It is a sex toy can be used for vaginal, oral or anal penetration. Dildos come in many sizes, colors and materials. Some are shaped like penises; others are less identifiable in their shape or look like dolphins or cucumbers. You can use a dildo with a harness or by hand.

HOW TO BUY A DILDO

So you and your partner have decided to introduce a dildo, or strap-on to your sexual repertoire. If you've never used one before, it can be hard to know where to begin. Here's some advice to get you started.

Difficulty: N/A

Time Required: A few hours

Here's How:

Decide how big a dildo you want. Dildos come in a variety of sizes. Experiment with how deep and wide you like penetration. You can use your fingers as a guide.

Choose which material will work best for you. Many dildos are made of silicone and Jelly because are retains body heat and is easy to clean. Less expensive models are made of rubber. If you are a first-timer, you may want to start with a less expensive rubber model. I would not recommend glass or Lucite for your first dildo.

To harness or not? You can use a dildo with a harness or hold it in your hand. A harness leaves your hands free, but will take an additional chunk out of your wallet. If money is a concern, you may choose to wait on the harness and experiment with hand holding it.

Pick your store. If you have one steady partner, you may wish to shop together for your new toy. You can make your purchase on-line.

Enjoy a lot. But don't forget to practice Safer Sex.

WHY SHOULD I USE A VIBRATOR?

Reasons people use vibrators

There is a lot of pressure to be sexual in the "right" way, and some people feel like they should use a vibrator. The fact is that you can have an incredible sex life without vibrators or sex toys at all. That said, using vibrators is a completely healthy (and potentially pleasure inducing) way to explore your sexuality.

There are as many reasons to use a vibrator as there are reasons to feel good. Here are some of the most common reasons people play with vibrators:

Curiosity: Sexual curiosity is healthy; wanting to try a vibrator is reason enough to try one.

Self-discovery: Particularly for those of us who have never been given the opportunity or permission to explore being sexual, vibrators can be a great way to explore your body. When using a vibrator by yourself you can start exploring yourself, your sensations (both physical and emotional) and reactions in a relatively safe environment.

To "spice up" a long term sexual relationship: Vibrators can shake things up (literally and figuratively) in a long term relationship if sex has become routine or exploration has fizzled out.

To experience orgasm for the first time: For many people, especially women, who never or rarely experience orgasm, vibration can be the fastest and easiest way to discover their orgasmic potential.

For extra stimulation that you can't add on your own: Many people aren't able to stimulate themselves the way they want to. Chronic pain, disability, and fatigue don't stop you from feeling pleasure, but vibrators can sometimes make it easier to get there.

For fun: For the most part the reason we all use, or consider using, vibrators are the same: because it's pleasurable. Pleasure, however you define it, is pretty close to a universal desire.

Pressure: This is NOT a good reason to use toys, but it's why some people do. Whether your partner is well meaning or not, if you're being pressured to try using a vibrator it won't work, and it shows a lack of respect of your boundaries. Vibrators are ultimately about feeling pleasure, and you can't force someone to experience pleasure, because experiencing pleasure is in some ways an expression of free will. Everyone has the right to say no to using a vibrator, just as we all have the right to say no to any kind of sex play at any time.

HOW TO CLEAN YOUR SEX TOYS

Keep your dildo and vibrator clean and safe. Be sure to clean your dildos and vibrators after use to prevent the spread of infections and disease. Always clean your toys before sharing with a partner. Cleaning your toys is simple. Use warm water and hand soap, antibacterial is preferred.

Silicone dildos can be set in boiling water for two minutes or run through your dishwasher.

Rubber dildos absorb more dirt than silicone, so you should use condoms with rubber dildos. Wash with hot water and soap between uses.

Do not submerge battery-operated or electric toys in water. Clean under running water, being careful not to let water get inside the vibrator

WHERE IS MY G-SPOT?

The G-Spot is an area on the front wall of your vagina that when stimulated, can cause women to orgasm and sometimes ejaculate. For some women, stimulating the G-Spot creates a more intense orgasm than clitoral stimulation. Not all women can have an orgasm through G-Spot stimulation.

HOW TO MAKE ORAL SEX MORE ENJOYABLE

Spend some time and get your lover excited before making the plunge. Tease her whole body before you head south. When having oral sex with your lover, it's not all about her clitoris. Let your mouth and tongue explore her whole labia, clitoris and vagina.

Slowly lick up her thighs and kiss her vulva. Spread her legs and open her lips with your fingers. Take a look. Tell her how beautiful she looks.

Use your tongue. Your whole tongue. Flatten it out. Use just the tip. Lick her like an ice cream cone. Flick it like a butterfly wings. Use gentle strokes. As her excitement builds, add more pressure. Focus more on the area around her clit.

How to tell if she likes it With your head smashed between her thighs, it may be hard to see what her response is. Feel for the clues.

If she raises her hips to meet your lips, that is good. If her vagina gets wet and her vulva swells, she's getting aroused. If she starts moaning and trembling, keep doing what you're doing. Rapid breathing and writhing around are good things. If she grabs your hair and pushes you in for more, things are definitely going well.

Take her clitoris in your mouth. Suck gently. Release. Gentle flicking can send her over the edge.

Use your hands. Place your hands under her butt and gently lift her towards your mouth. Reach up and stroke her nipples. Put a finger in her vagina or her anus. [Note: DO NOT go from her anus to her vagina--you can spread unwanted bacteria.]

Rhythm is the key. Tune in to her responses. All women are different. Have her tell you what she likes and wants more of. Some women love having their clits stroked, others are too sensitive. What turned her on one day, may not work the next. Some love a finger or two or three inside them, others do not. Some women love the feel of a finger in their anus; others jump to the ceiling with a screech.

Communication is necessary for great sex. If you're new to this, or even if you're not, talk to your partner. See what worked, what you might do differently and have fun perfecting your skills!

IS ANAL SEX DANGEROUS?

No, but with any kind of sex, you do need to take some precautions. Unlike the vagina, the rectum has no natural lubricants. Make sure you use plenty of lube for any penetration. And if it hurts, stop. Also, HIV is easily spread through anal sex, so be sure to use a latex glove on your hand or condom in you or on any sex toys you use. Also, unlike the vagina, there's no "end" to your rectum and things really can get lost up there. So be careful.

The anus has bacteria that can cause illness. So be sure to clean your sex toys with disinfectant soap after anal play, even if you use a condom. Don't allow bacteria from the anus to enter the vagina.